Monday, November 30, 2009

Things I Bought That I Love

If I could one day have an awesome blog that I don't update nearly enough because I'm on the writing team of an NBC comedy while putting together my very own show? I would be soooo happy.

Photobucket

I'd also like Mindy Kaling's Subtle Sexuality

I'm fairly happy now. The last little while has been a good one. And it's about time I got you caught up on it, wouldn't you say? You would?! Well, I'll be...

Από που ν' αρχίσω; Όχι. Σοβαρά. Από που; Να τα πάμε χρονολογικά; Ή να το παίξω πιο αβάν'τ γκαρντ και να το πάρουμε με φλάσμπακς και φλασφόρουαρντζ; Άσχετο: το ΦλασΦόρουαρντ το'χετε δει; Το βλέπετε; Είδα το πρώτο -συμπαθές ήταν- αλλά ξέμεινα εκεί, δε με κράτησε. Λάθος;

As HIMYM has taught us, there's no way to go wrong with a list, so let's start there:

Things I Bought That I Love
  1. The course - $4,500.00
  2. Smiley Face wine - $9.99
  3. Half a ham - $14.25
1. This one's pretty self-explanatory. The normal bouts of doubts and whining aside -which, really, come with the Me package- it's working out well. I'm progressing, I'm a bit ahead of the game and I've been told time and again that my note-giving's really good. I would go into detail of how my praises were sung in the particular department but that'd only serve to make me sound like even more of a douche than I actually am. Suffice it to say that the three years working in Greece did not go to waste. Wheee!

Οκέη, οκέη... Μου 'πανε δατ άη ώλουεηζ γκέτ ράητ του δε χαρτ οφ δε μάτερ κι ότι δεν υπάρχει κανείς άλλος μες στο γούορκσοπ μου που να μπορεί να δώσει φήντμπακ τόσο καλά όσο εγώ. Γαμάτο, έτσι; Αν μη τι άλλο αν το τετοιάκι σεναριογράφος δε βγει υπάρχει και μια εναλλακτική.

2. Speaking of which. Here's some wheee in a bottle. Not wee. That comes later.


Photobucket
Wheee!

Νοστιμότατο στα δέκα δολάρια το μπουκάλι αλλά η πραγματική του αξία βρίσκεται αλλού όπως 5 από σας πρέπει να ψυλλιαστήκατε. Όταν το 'δα στα ράφια του Τρέηντερ Τζο'ς δε θα μπορούσε να 'ναι πιο έντονο σύμβολο. Μέχρι να συνειδητοποιήσω τι έβλεπα είχα κάνει αναδρομή σε όλο μου το καλοκαίρι. Είχα μελαγχολήσει και χαρεί επτά φορές κι όταν επανήλθα σκέφτηκα πόσο μινιμαλιά είναι η ετικέτα και... πώς να μην το πάρω;

3. There was plenty of wheee on Thanksgiving. Two red bottles' worth, plus a sixpack of something or other. And so much food: Baked beans, mashed potatoes, meatloaf, macaroni and cheese, New Yorker's Greek salad and that half a ham. The crowning achievement of a kingly meal, the half a ham was carefully cured with a brown sugar and crushed pineapple glaze. Can't you just taste it?


Photobucket
King Ham

Λουκούμι! Εντωμεταξύ, δεν ξέρω σε πόση λεπτομέρεια μπορώ να μπω για τους εκεί παρευρισκόμενους. Απ' τη μία, τα Ελληνικά προσδίδουν μια λεπτή λωρίδα κάλυψης. Απ'την άλλη, ποτέ δεν ξέρεις ποιος από τους νέους μου συμμαθητές μπορεί να χτυπήσει
το μπλογκ μέσω Φέησ-μπούκ. Βάλε και κάναν τυχαίο φίλο συμμαθητού να 'ναι Έλληνας ή ήμι-Έλληνας και άντε μετά να εξηγήσαι. Και με την ακροαματικότητα του
Κάηντα Γκρέητ Γκάη συνειδητοποιείτε είναι πολύ πιθανό. Ας πούμε απλά λοιπόν ότι είχα και καλή παρέα...

Imagine if you will, yourself nearly having melded with the comfy couch. That delicious hunk o'ham sitting on the coffee table. You cut off a new slice whenever your stomach manages to digest even the tiniest bit of what you've previously put in it. Aliens plays on the huge-ass widescreen TV. And as the Xenomorph Queen menaces über-hot '80s Sigourney-Waver, you think "You know what? I actually am quite thankful this year. Definitely better off than Ripley" And then you burp.

Photobucket
Queen Hungry

And then there's apple pie and ice cream.

Καλά, δεν περιγράφονται τα Αμερικάνικα πάηζ!

Sugary delight for $18.95.

Ααααχ...

So, how are you?

Saturday, November 21, 2009

+/-

I'm negative.

Photobucket
Negative?

I'm a negative person. I'm the one who's gonna tell you "Don't do that", "Don't take that risk", "Are you a moron?!" I'll tell you what not to do and I'll be right and you won't listen to me and you'll make the mistake and then -the fifth time- you might learn and won't make the same mistake again and move on to the next one...

Τρία μπουκάλια κρασί, μη μου το κρατήσετε - θα μου το κρατήσετε; Κι εκπληκτικό φαγητό! Και ο ειρμός μου χαμένος. Τι έλεγα; Τι θέλω να πω; Πω πω, το Πράηβετ Πράκτις είναι τρελή μούφα - θα μπορέσω να γράψω κάποτε έστω για κάτι τέτοιο; Είναι άγρια τα πράγματα εδώ. Με νύχια και με δόντια όλοι πολεμούν να πιάσουν το "μπιγκ μπρέηκ", να μπουν.

The only reason I can tell you this stuff, the only reason I am right, is because I'm wrong. I'm wrong about every choice I make for myself, every day, every second. What I eat, the clothes I wear, how I spend my money - all wrong choices. Getting the right combo down is a happy coincidence but merely that. When things go right, it means that a stroke of electrons has sparked serendipitously. There's nothing more.

Photobucket
Nothing more?

Το μόνο που με κρατάει είναι ένα αίσθημα σιγουριάς. Δεν είναι ότι πιστεύω ότι θα τα καταφέρω, δεν είναι ότι νομίζω ότι θα γίνει. Αη νόου, γιου γκάηζ! Δε γίνεται να μην.

It's like reality contestants. No, go with me, here... A good reality show's most absurd and ridiculous the more of an accurate study it is of the human condition. You've seen the Next Top Model shows, right? The contestants, they're all convinced that they deserve the prize. Each believes that she wants it more than the rest. She believes that is what gets you the win - wanting it. But it's not. What gets the win is chance.

Τι παραλήρημα κι αυτό... Νιώθω σα να γράφω για τον εαυτό μου και μόνο αλλά ταυτόχρονα υπάρχει κάτι που θέλω να πω. Ο Κόλιε Στρονγκ, είναι γκομενάκι; Έχω το φινάλε του Πρότζεκτ Ράνουεη στο πλάι - δε θα σας πω ποιος κερδίζει, μην ανησυχείτε. Αλλά το ερώτημα είναι σημαντικό.

Am I ignoring hard work? Noooooo. Of course not. But you guys, -seriously, you guys- it is not the most important thing. You can work as hard as you possibly can, you can work harder than anyone else. But if you don't get that one chance, if The Break doesn't happen? Holmes, you fucked. Ain't no Watson gonna save you.

Photobucket
So, then, what do you do?

Τι κάνεις όταν δε σε θέλουν για το Θα Πεις Και Ένα Τραγούδι: Κάουν'τρυ Εντίσιον; Άσχετο; Φαινομενικά.

The other day we went tried to get in the background audience for Singing Bee, with a friend. (He's becoming a friend, I'm real happy about that). They took him, they didn't take me, so...

Αφότου ξεπέρασα τη βαριά κατάθλιψη που δε με πήρανε, πήγα σινεμά.

I watched Precious.


It was exceptional! Anything that in another film would make you think "Yeah, right. Pull the other one" Precious makes you buy. The performances are breathtaking.

Literally, you'll find yourself not breathing waiting for that one move, or that one line to come. At other times, you're gonna be left breathless like what's happening has taken form and kicked you in the gut.

Lee Daniels even gets a good performance out of Mariah Carey. Mariah Freakin' Carey, you guys. Who, if she shut up about the uglifying they did on her, would have an even more fascinating and commendable performance on her hands.

The kudos go to Daniels, though. It's shocking how easy it is to watch Precious. It shouldn't be. But the electrons sparked and each choice -in casting, in acting, in direction- each line couldn't be different, couldn't be better.

Photobucket
Really?

Really.

Δεν πρόκειται να γίνω τέτοιος ωτέρ, ούτε αστέρας. Αλλά έχω την ευκαιρία να γίνω ένας καλός σεναριογράφος. Είναι εδώ, συμβαίνει. Οπότε δεν είναι θέμα θέλησης, ή προσπάθειας. Αυτά είναι κομμάτια άλλης ιστορίας. Αυτή η ιστορία, η εδώ, είναι μόνο θέμα χρόνου.

Fuck sentimentality, OK? That's what Precious does so well. Unlike many others, it's a film that doesn't try to make you cry for its heroine. In fact, it challenges you not to. "Come on, motherfucker - don't be touched. Dare to not be touched". So, fuck sentimentality and just look at it pragmatically: The longest journey does start with a single step. And then there's a billion others that you need to take, as much as that first one.

Photobucket
"The longest journey starts with a single step", I said that. Also, the Chinese.

Walking away from the cinema I came across Out of the Closet and right at its window was a big, bright, brilliant neon sign: FREE HIV TESTING. I was gonna get food and go for a second movie. I hadn't had anything but a bowl of cereal since the morning - that happens a lot when I'm immersed in writing- and Fantastic Mr. Fox was out. But I went.

"Ιμέρσντ ιν ράητινκγ" τι λέω ο άνθρωπος; Φτάνουμε όμως. Φτάνουμε.

If you've had an HIV test, you know the mouth-drying, hand-freezing nervousness that is the wait. If you've been careful, a single broken condom can shatter the shield of safety you've diligently built. In turn, you break into a cold sweat in the waiting room, you may even moisten your chair. And if you've been foolish, taking risks for reasons too asinine to go into, then you deserve the nervousness. You deserve the sweat.

It only takes one time. One moment for things to go wrong, one to go right. It's not about wanting it enough, it's not about believing. It's about knowing. You gotta know you won't not make it. You gotta be positive you're negative.

I'm negative. I came out of Out of the Closet, my results in hand, green sticker on them. I donated $50 to the testing center, I had a $50 lunch, I went to Borders and bought six books and two DVDs. Money is tight. Υeah. And? So what? I was alive, healthy, lucky.

Things are breaking down all around us: car accidents, cancer, The Crisis. But look close and tell me, really, what wins...

I'm not dead, I'm not sick, I'm not broke.

Photobucket

Get strength from the things you have escaped, rejoice in not being unlucky, worship the chances that haven't passed you by.

You gotta be negative to be positive.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Chew!

I flew today. Various crappy things happened, also. We went to Universal Studios today. That was of the good. It was Kelly's last day today. That's a bit of a mood killer rounding up a streak of brilliant days.

Spending these past few days with Kelly, some random things popped in my head. More often than not they would be the same things that popped in Kelly's and we'd say them at the same time and laugh -oh, how we'd laugh!

But, apart from starring in a tampon commercial, we also roamed. We went to Hollywood Boulevard and Venice Beach and the aforementioned Studios. In our 5 days together I've seen more of this city than I have in my 2 months here.

And, on our sightseeing tours, I had a great time. Relaxed and groovy, full enough but not too much, our days were. It was nice: the thinking in tandem and speaking in sync (mostly about cigarettes). It was very comfortable. Very Home.

Not that I wasn't grumpy when I got hungry or did not shut down at the end of a long day. To be honest, that's probably what proves the theory that I felt at home. I can only hope that Kelly's used to her house being filled with surly people.

Trips are weird things. Vacation Versus Holiday has rocked many a friendship. But for me it was good and at the end of the month I'll eat a whole turkey and burp out just how thankful I am for Kelly's visit to LaLa Land.

The Random Things That Popped In My Head:
  1. I need to write here more often.
  2. I need to write here more concisely.
  3. I need to write for the course more often.
  4. I need to stop using the "pressure makes me write better" logic to procrastinate.
  5. Yes, even if it's true.
  6. Man, I love Wendy's!

A 16-year-old boy was got a head injury during a football game. He was in a coma today. Another, younger one, got away with just a concussion. A third disappeared. All these things happened, right here, in L.A..

From my list of randoms probably nothing will come to pass. Except that I always have and always will love Wendy's. Do you remember how their buns taste?

They have this special taste. They're more like natural bread and less at the same time. Their meat is meatier, their lettuce lettucier. Their ketchup less like water. When you bite into that triple (oh yeah!) decker burger the pleasure is sublime.

But then you hit those little bits of fat, or whatever the fuck they are. They feel like they so shouldn't be there. Are they... bones? WTF are they doing in your burger? That's not how it's supposed to be.

But there they are and they make you feel sick to your stomach. That's how the process starts, that takes you from the high of eating fast food to the low of digesting it. What can you do but take both in?

That's how it is. The delicious patty is ridden with little fatty bone fragments. And you can't be mad at them, 'cause they just are. They are just there, part of the fabric. Waiting to play out. It's just that sometimes they come out in clusters.

Just roll with it. Chew!

Today, meaning yesterday -meaning the 1st of this November, 2009- Qian Xuesen died at 98; he was a rocket scientist. I flew today.


Photobucket

And I got blisters today from my new shoes. See? It's a mix.