Beardblog #7

It's now stalactite free but, man, is it feisty. It's like every single hair on my face is standing on end and someone's sprinkled chili powder at the tips of 'em.



I don't have much time. I gotta go to the park and write! Which is nice.

Yesterday was the first night of my new class. Which was also nice. But...

I wanted to waltz in and have my classmates think:

"Wow. Who is that suave man with the excellent beard growth? He smells like Carolina Herrera 212 and smoke. He wears a t-shirt with a monkey on it but a button down shirt over that... I would like to know this suave man!"

Instead what they probably thought was:

"Wow. Who's the sweaty late douche? He stinks of cologne and cancer. He'd better not sit by me."

After three hours, I came back home opened up this entry, to review the experience in detail, and promptly fell asleep on the computer. Again. In conclusion: don't trust google maps, details to come later.

Things To Do Today:
Write (in the park)
Reply (6 e-mails)
Call (Steve)
See (a movie)
Bring (details)

Things To Not Do Today:
Trust (google maps)

Songs Stuck:
Marina and The Diamonds - The Outsider
Teddy Thompson - I Should Get Up

(Cauliflowerhead, FTW!)

Beard status:
Stalactite free, but still muy caliente.

Up in the Air (Beardblog #5)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Beardblog #4

It's still on edge and tough as nails but, deeper down, it's starting to feel complacent...



I had too much trouble choosing a photograph for this post. Should I have gone with the one above? What would better showcase my burgeoning beardness? In its fierceness does it come off as genuinely self-obsessed or post-ironically self-aware? Big questions for such a small blog but nonetheless valid. How is one to choose, really choose, between fierce and funny?



By not choosing, says I!

Having burned through this much space with these pictures I'll just hit the high notes of today and bid you a good night:

• Met up with Alex the New Yorker,
• Picked up Terrell the Texan and his brother from the airport,
• Attended first lecture back (wooo!),
• Was disappointed by professional program being UCLA's red-headed stepchild,
• Scratched beard at regular intervals.

All in all, it was a good day.

To reiterate:

Fierce.

Funny.

Holiday Photos Uploaded to iPhone:
37

Number of Embarrassing Photos:
7

Projected Script Pages
(for tomorrow):
>20

Movies Watched:
Truly Madly Deeply- 7*

Songs Stuck:
Savage Garden - Truly Madly Deeply
Extreme - More Than Words
Sia - You've Changed

Beardblog #3

Though it's been tended to with TIGL S-Factor Smoothing Lusterizer, right now, my beard is sad.



My face pubes are in a bad mood for a multitude of reasons... Initially it was the Defrizzer & Tamer's fault. Though the balm seemed to soften my whiskers it also created a film of product that's made Beardy feel like a seagull in an oil spill.

Similarly, the prickliness only seemed to have been neutralized by the power of salve. As it turns out, the beard remains placated only as long as it's not touched. The slightest brush of the finger makes it flair up again.

At this stage of the game (23 days), shouldn't Beardy have made some sort of peace with itself? Am I being too demanding? Should I allow it an entire month to adjust?

And finally, Beardy was quite saddened by the fact that when first trying to write up this post I fell asleep. I did manage to shuffle off the laptop to the side table (actually a chair) as my eyes were drooping shut. However, another pair of comrades, weren't so lucky.



Czar Beardy mourns his subjects. I'm going back to sleep.

Sleep Casualties:
Pair of glasses
Beardy's mood

After-Sleep Discoveries:
Seemed is fun to type and say out loud

Movies Pending:
Los abarozs rotos -

Song Stuck:
Simon and Garfunkel - The Sounds of Silence


Beard Origin Point:
Dec 13, 2009.

Beard Status:
Pretend-soft to the outside world. Really, increasingly hardened and depressed.

Beardblog #2

It's been refreshed with Head & Shoulders 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner! Still prickly, still gnarly.



This was sooo hard to put together. Every second closer to finishing, has been one closer to gross bliss. While the beard was tended to with chemical cleansers and beautifiers this morning, it is still being a vicious little bastard. Attacking my cheeks and lips area (hahahaha!), making it feel like there's a burning bush on my face.

Being, as I am, bombed to an unprecedented degree, all I've wanted to do during the past whatever centuries I have been working on this post, is simply sock it to it; turn off the light, prop my legs up on pillows, drop my head back and let myself get closer to Jesus.

...

Excuse me, I had go throw up and jerk off.

Now, come to Jesus.

Movie Rankings
(for past and future reference):
6. Eminently watchable.
7. Perfect for what it is.
8. Exceeds expectations.
9. Perfect.
10. Perfect and more.

5. Disappointing.
4. Subpar.
3. So bad it's good.
2. No.
1. NO. No.

Song Stuck:
Marina and the Diamonds - Hollywood (Infected Your Brain)

Beard Status:
Coarse, scraggly, well washed and conditioned.

Beardblog #1

It's itchy and scratchy and I intend on keepin' it 'til I finish the first draft of mah screenplay.



Inspired in equal parts by Stavroula Papadaki's (now defunct?) The How Do I Look Today Project and intense hairiness, I have decided to use my facial hair as a motivational writing tool and excuse to do a quick mindless post each day.

The goal's to keep open the channels of communication, write something every day, make it brief and snappy... and I'm already going on too long!

Movies Watched:
Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs - 8
Sherlock Holmes - 6

Songs Stuck:
The Beatles - Yellow Submarine
The White Stripes - My Doorbell

Beard Status:
Itchy, scratchy, present until end of screenplay.

Give A Little Love

I did not intend this to be a once a month thing. I don't intend for a lot of things to happen. It's never been in my game plan to drink so much I black out but I've managed that. (Apparently).

All the positivity, the constant self-affirmation of these pages, is hard work because:

1. I am mondo lazy,
2. I am kind of sad.

I'm not a happy person. It's not intended. But there you have it. Why -at six in the p.m.- should I be sitting in a darkened room, literally staring at the ceiling?

Especially when ma's surpassed herself in getting us a last minute ticket, when all of a sudden I'm Home for the Holidays, when I thought I wouldn't see anyone until a year after I'd left them... Why do things keep getting muddled? You don't know. I don't know either, really.

But, what keeps me trying, are those moments when the veil lifts. And, now that everyone who could be surprised was surprised, that I am here (in Athens, Greece), home for Christmas but not New Year's, I share as I leave again, in hope of understanding, one of those moments:

EXT. ITHAKI HARBOR - NIGHT

The boys are getting there, when:

Eli catches something in his rearview mirror.

Do they ever stop you in Greece? Pull you over to the side of the road?

Cut to the boys OK we're lost

straight there

or something about wacky races pou den exw idea ti symvainei koitaw ta plhktra k kanoune zooom in zoooom out k panw katw panw katw sa na eimai h Sandra Bullock sto Network (?) Pagidevmenh sto diktyo telws pantwn The Web?

exw kollhsei me ena zevgari agglakia mia kopela k enan typo epeidh skeftomai ypervolika na tous milhsw alla me stamataei to gegonos oti tha eimai o typos sthn istoria tous pou htane kommatia k aftoi exoun erthei edw mono na pioun k se styl it will be the weird person they met in amsterdam.

Kai tote tote skefotmai poia einai akrivws h istoria mou e kai einai gamath eimai edw se 8 hour layover apo thn amerikh. (edw pou exw erthei me giannh me to grhgorh me to xarh)

pwwwwwpw frikh mphkane kati koules pou milane mia varia glwssa phxth k nomisa oti htan ellhnika kai mphkame se mia (italiano!) syzhthsh ateleiiiiiiwth pou den katalavainomastan. Hmoun san apo tainia tromou sto tripaki panw enas pou arxizei speaking in tongues. Wx ki hrthan ki alles kai einai italides kai me a-po-syn-to-ni-zoun!

einai poly konta mou kai kanoun poly thorybo.

ki exw toso prosperasei to na mporw na grapsw gia to senario - petaxa toso makria pou paei afto exoume ftasei se allo epipedo. ena epipedo pou den paizetai, den ginetai, den einai yparxei eirmos?

Niwthw oti oi wmoi my shoulders i feel them i fll them pushing in toward my spine like on my back the cable knit cardigan is too heavy it's made of something fat and heavy and warm-weighing like gold.

metaferw apo to trapezaki to neo laptopaki sta podia mou. me vlepw prin na eimai san th matzika de spell (oxi th despell afth htan wraia alla ths xionaths th magissa pou'tan kampoura to despell omws maresei pio poly einai pio evhxo vre paidi mou)

aristera dexia aristera trabalizetai to
lapto paki ithela na grapsw to deinosavraki
giat to ithela afto ma giati den mporw na
krathsw mia skepsh parpanaw apo pente lepta

oooohgHJLJNNN

Something molis espase ston katw orofo. tous akouw na to mazevoun. pathainw me tis ekfraseis pou fantazomai na kanw. mousikh, italides k vlefaro na tremopaizei. sa na paei na pesei na prodwsei san ton typo apenanti pou to ena tou mati de leei, kyriolektika adynatei na anoixei...

k koitaw thn wra sto ypologistaki pou einai 6: 00 am giati exei meinei stou l.A. ki as eimai sto Amsterdam k thymamai etsi ta panta ola mpainoun mesa mazi kateftheian o giannhs ki o grhgorhs kai o xarhs k h amerRikh k to kalokairi k to fevgio (eipa fevgio?!) pou se stelnei ekei kkk ooops

k to poios eisai k pws den milhses stous agglous apenanti aggloi htan to eipa ? kai pws phges k milhses stis itallides k pws you are That GUy thaaaaaaaaaaat guy k nai ta vlefara (paw olo na grapsw flevara) petarizoun san ths Jerri Blank (what is flevara?)

k phgan na mou xarisoun ena sakoulaki oi itales giati fevgoun shmera k tous lew "ki egw!" k pali den katalavainomastan alla shnnennoooouuontai me tous agglous synennoountai k oh my god i am ana alien. o h my god i just typed o h mygod i am ana alien oooooooooo if only someone could see me right now

but wait-- if this were all written down to be read would it read true or not would it be real or not would it have happened?

i actually raise my eyebrow i actually pout my lips i actually in this place that I, where I, exist truly. fully of this world and entirely not of it. a rap trying to write itself but I'm too white but not white in an american way because in greece we don't have colours in people

Until very recently all you would find in greece is Greeks and yes some others but the others were such a very small minority that you learn to think them like that (Others) subconsciously and then one day you realize you're technically racist because you are not used to them and spending time with them

Aggelikh was my friend who's black back in 1st grade. We did projects together she was nice I think we were supposed to be in a common group of friends

OI italines synexizoun na me vgazoun apo ton eirmo mou afth th fora gia na zhthsoun stylo ka na mhn katannohthoume na ta grafw egw na shkwnetai to frydaki

ERIOUSLY

Eriously

SSSS

Literally these things are happening - As a child she is not your black friend she really is your friend who is black and you are her friend who -- I don't know. She's greek she's grown up Greek but she's black in color and what that does mean

nd did i just burp? did they hear me?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAa my stomach was killing me during the flight should I eat smth! but then i fear that when I'm writing ENglish they could look over they could understand it but then I remember that we are all in here so fucked up they'd first misunderstand it for italian and try to read it thus and then by the time they realiase what the fuck they're doing -- it's gone

wpa gia koka lene twra. (koita poses lexeis einai koines pws mporoune apla na koitaxoun thn othonh sou k na xeroun apo mia lexh ti les gia ti les kkkkkkk--shoukders back00-

shoulders back. ow ow oh aou the tension. wa sthat guy hot? should I look did he notice what's the time? ^: 41 A M

6 forty five a m

in my sleep?

at the same time;

i am

the most timid

and the most adVenturous persons that could ever be

moving in tandem

living differently

alll all al l at the same time.

poetic- y break in text to see jjgk see what happens

things I have mocked I do aI I do well I do amusingly

I have decided that the above is actually a poem and I thus present it but it needs something some3thing more thelei

THELEI

afto molies synevh sto myalo mou pwwwwwwwwwwwwwpwwwwww doulema pou exei na pesei epi anagnwshs aftou edw tou keimenououououo. den yparxw den den den xanaxan xana ta tria 4 plhktra tap tap rtap /tap tap rtap /tap tap rtap

ki alloi italoi nearoteroi afth th fora pio rasta kietsi kathontai kai fevgoun oi original italides pou htan k megalokopeles ax kai xairetiountai oi italoi giati einai koinoi touristeeeeees

ax giati de milhsa stous 8 ellhnes pou petyxa sto dormo erxomenos
ki enas isws htan k cute me th fag hag toy.
APAradektos

aloi galoi aa

ALLOI GALOI STH THESI TWN
ITALIDWN K A EINAI TOSO DYSKOLO PLEON
NA KAR KRATAW

OPOINDHPOTE EIROM

nc

kai isws kai aftos na ienai ellhnas alla den einai, einai gallos! ti ki an moiazei me skitso tou arka? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa gallika GALLIKA den mprw mporw aaaaaarg flashback se ola

gallika mathimata yuck bleuuuuuurgh hisss sixama ta misousa giati?

htan toso kalh h Avgh. Toso kalh.

Kai wx! Mporw twra afto me ola ta onomata na to anevasw?

Giati eixa skopo na vgei ena post kalo s'afto to taxid i

but this is not what I had on mind

Not what I had in mind.

So high.

Is that guy Turkish?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoh my G

gallos pali

k krywsa k vazw mia xaketa akoma ki anarwtiemai poso travaw thn prosoxh olous tous nomizw ellhnes k travaw thn prosoxh k grafw grafqw twra prospathwntas na mhn grapsw niwthw san kartoon pou to travane ta podia na kanei kati kai ta xeria menoun pisw elastika kollhmena se delay.

Ouf. paragraph.

Deeeeep deep breath -- Exhale.

AA

Ah!

MY teeth HUETy hurt There are no places to hide here - no reasons. where should I styop? StOP.

It would be possible to go on forever but I don't want to mixsx miss this flight This flight is what everything reevreything is abnout

about one thing

Love

That's what it all all is. This flight this trip is love.

I;M COMING HOME
My alarm rang to the tune of Skins

Last toke at 4:02
(Amsterdam time pm iPhone has synchronized-

I;M COMING HOME (CONT'D)
Hahahahahahaha! Wait there we go that's
what I wanted dialogue it goes it goes

Ahem

I;M COMING HOME (CONT'D) (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Last toke at 4: 02 (PM)

and wrapping up.

!