Smokin' TV: Sunday

I've almost quit smoking. It's come to the point when a cigarette, lack of food and a well-timed beer have me flying high in the skies of dizziness. A pack a week is relatively close to having quit, is it not? "No" you say? "Deluded hypocrite" you shout? You would not trust me as far you could throw me? Feh and tough titties ladies and gents, because I am here to share my opinion on what you should watch Northern-American-TV-wise. And, conversely to my unwise decision-making when it comes to smoking, drinking and most of my sexual partners, I actually know my shit when it comes to television.



Brilliant segue, right? I know. Let's jump right in!

Sunday

The Simpsons / The Cleveland Show / Family Guy / American Dad: Taking a cue from the The A.V. Club, I've blocked FOX's "Animation Domination" into one entry. The quick and short of it is this: The Simpsons has been tired for years now - if you haven't been watching there's no reason to start. The Cleveland Show is better than a Season 8 (9? 24?) Family Guy spinoff has any right to be. If you're a fan of the latter feel free to spend 20-something minutes of your Sunday on the former. And if you roll during Cleveland you'll be all nice & stoned and set for Family Guy. But the one show to which you must give an extra chance -and I know many of you have not- is American Dad. Smart, timely and with its own spin on the cutaway gag format, that keeps them attached to the story even in their most absurd expressions. Plus, the most well-formed characters in animation this side of Daria.

Desperate Housewives: Jumping to ABC and the DH / B&S block, this show has so far been on a streak not seen since the heyday of Season 1. While Susan has become a full-on despicable character (losing whatever redeeming qualities she may have had) Teri Hatcher is playing the shit out of the part. Likewise, Huffman, Longoria and Cross are all getting equal and equally fertile material to play, as Lynnette, Gabrielle and Bree. Even Dana Delany's role in the show has taken a turn. While Katherine's life is more pathetic than any housewife we've seen before, Delany's thrown herself into the part with mesmerising abandon, rounding up the makes of a most interesting season. Plus? Drea de Matteo.

She was Joey's sister, you guys!

Brothers and Sisters: Do you like crying at late hours of the night? Do you enjoy tears streaming down your face and blurring up your glasses? Then this season of Brothers and Sisters is exactly what you need. Due to a specific development ZOMG! KITTY HAS CANCER! Calista Flockhart's getting to use her pout to its best snivelling advantage. Meanwhile, the ramifications this has on the rest of the family are a wonder to watch. Sally Field (Nora) is heartbreaking to a degree that only she or a real mother could be, Matthew Rhys (Kevin) has put his big Welsh blues to their best wet use, while Rob Lowe (Senator Orange) is proving that he's more than Alec Baldwin's mancrush (2:49). And we haven't even gotten to see Rachel Griffiths interact with the whole situation since Sara just got back from Paris bringing this back with her. Use all the Ojai scenes to replenish the tissue supply and this is the show for you.

Nora can't handle all these spoilers.

Dexter: I was really sad to realise that Dexter had been cancelled. Fortunately, a spinoff has taken its timeslot on Showtime. While it may not be the original, it is interesting enough in its own right. John Lightgow is magnificently creepy as the new serial killer in town, while Keith Carradine is back with more great work as agent Lundy. The principal actors are, of course, excellent as always and there's a lot of good character work being done on all fronts. It's just a bit jarring that there's room for that, when the original series has so excellently kept Dexter as the center of the narrative, thus shading his conventional Procedural surroundings with some added interest-- What? Dexter hasn't been cancelled?! When the best part of your show are the guest stars, you may wanna recalibrate is all I'm saying.

Mad Men: This show is too smart for me to analyse in any way that would do it justice. Nor can I get it new viewers by convincing you, you oughta be watchin' it. What I can do is appeal to your baser instincts, thusly:

January Jones is Betty Draper.

John Hamm is Don Draper.

Christina Hendricks is the hottest woman of all time.

Bam! Appealed.

And also, sometimes, this guy is around:


Oh, ass. I think I'm sober, now.

This feature will continue whenever I am drunk and until all days of the week are covered. For the time being, it's just the shows I watch and can talk about (duh) but if I get drunk enough I may jump onto others. If you don't wanna read this self-indulgent blog you don't have to - there are always alternatives.