"Once there was shoemaker that worked very hard and was very honest; but his work was too much for just one man and he and his wife struggled. One night, the shoemaker, weak from hunger and frustration, felt his eyes closing. So, he left his materials half-finished -the leather and the cobbles and the laces, all laid out- and with a heavy heart, he went to bed, intending to continue the next day.
When morning broke, the shoemaker was amazed to enter his shop and find a new pair of shoes prepared and waiting for him. It was immaculate! There were no breaks in the leather, no stitching left hanging and all the metal on the shoes gleamed with perfection. The shoemaker couldn't believe his luck. 'The elves must have done me this kindness', he thought. Wanting to see if his good fortune would continue, he worked again all day. And when he could no longer keep his eyes open, he left out his materials half-finished went to bed, atwitter with anticipation of the following dawn.
The next day, the same amazing spectacle greeted the shoemaker. 'The elves must have taken a shine upon me', he thought to himself, and went about his daily work with renewed joy and energy. This routine continued for years one end. With the help of the elves, the shoemaker was able to make ends meet and more even than that! His wife and he were able to live more and more comfortably and even went on to have a house and a child of their own.
One night, his wife could not hold back her curiosity and asked of the shoemaker: 'How is it that you have managed to turn this boat around, homes? We live in such luxury now as we could not before have fathomed. Our son is healthy and well-fed and our house could be on an episode of cribs, fo'sho'! The shoemaker's wife was a very progressive woman. And when the shoemaker told her of the elves and their invaluable help, his wife decided to knit them a pair of little off-the-hook outfits to thank and honor them and so the elves could look fly. She had the yarn 'cause she was making booties for her fat baby, you see..."
When our professor, Hal Ackerman, read this -abridged and heavily paraphrased- fairy tale the Brothers Grimm had written, he was struck with how much he felt like the shoemaker. To see how close the resemblance ran, he worked on his then script all day. And when he couldn't stay up any longer, no matter how much caffeine he imbibed, he left out his pages half-finished and went to bed with a jittery heart, trusting in the elves to help him along his writing way.
The next day, Hal sat at his desk and opened the cover (it was one of those desks that closes, so you can safely leave half-finished stuff in it for elves to take over, and no one is the wiser) and sure enough... the pages were exactly as he had left them the night before.
"We are the elves. Anything that you don't write, will not get written. Is that plain enough?"
Το απόσπασμα αυτό από τη σημερινή μας, πρώτη, διάλεξη είναι χαρακτηριστικό της όλης φάσης. Ο τύπος είναι ημίθεος. Ακόμα κι όταν μας έλεγε να αγοράσουμε το βιβλίο του (που ο μαλάκας πήγα και το πήρα 25 δολλάριο από βιβλιοπωλείο. Να! Ζώον) δε φαινόταν παρτάλι παρά ότι ήθελε να μας βοηθήσει και να μας διευκολύνει με όποιον τρόπο δυνατόν. Συνεχίζω να τρέμω από ενθουσιασμό μέσα στην αίθουσα. Να δούμε πόσο θα κρατήσει αυτό και πότε θ' αρχίσει ο τρόμος για τον όγκο του φόρτου εγασίας μας...
Apart from introducing us to the course in his own special way, Hal gave as an on the spot assignment in the last minutes of class. Write a Cringe List: a series of events and actions you have taken which make you turn scarlet to this day. Volunteers were called upon and some people read their lists to the full auditorium. Those daring enough, spoke to the room's general amusement, guffaws and a couple of awkward silences. I chickened out.
Έχω μεγάλο πρόβλημα με το να μιλήσω μπροστά σε κοινό. Ναι, ναι, ναι, το ξέρω "δε βάζω γλώσσα μέσα", θα μου πείτε. Αλλά αυτό είναι διαφορετικό. Όταν έχω να αντιμετωπίσω ανθρώπους που ξέρω ή μια ομάδα φορμιντάμπλ -8, άντε 10 άτομα- το 'χω. Κάποιοι θέλουν να κυριαρχήσουν και να γίνουν ο αρχηγός της αγέλης. Εγώ είμαι ο λύκος που θέλει να κάνει τους συναγελήτες του ύαινες απ' τα γέλια. Κουτοπόνηρος και χαιρέκακος. Τον αναγνωρίζετε από την επιμελώς ατημέλητη γούνα, μάτι που γυαλίζει και τα σάλια που τρέχουν. Δουλεύει η μεταφορά; Ή είναι παρομοίωση;
Ένηουεη, το πόιν'τ είναι ότι αυτοί που διάβαζαν ήταν κάπως... περήφανοι, γι' αυτά που έλεγαν; Κι έγώ ήμουν σε στυλ "Εεεεε, το νόημα του όλου έξερσαηζ δεν είναι να ντρέπεσαι γι' αυτά που έχεις γράψει;" Δηλαδή, οκέυ, δε λέω "Έθαψα το χάμστερ μου ζωντανό" και "Κλώτσησα ένα πεκινουά στα 10 μέτρα, γιατί πήγε να επιτεθεί στον ανιψιό μου" κάτι λένε. Αλλά "Φίλησα μια κοπέλα μπροστά στον άντρα μου"; "Οδήγησα μαστουρωμένος". Ρηλυ;! Από την άλλη, αυτοί είχαν και το θάρρος να τα μοιραστούν ενώ εγώ όχι.
That being said, I present to the 8 to 10 of you, my very own Cringe List:
Things I Have Done That Still Make Me Cringe
by Giorgis Despotakis
(that's the spelling on the birth certificate, thus also at UCLA)
When morning broke, the shoemaker was amazed to enter his shop and find a new pair of shoes prepared and waiting for him. It was immaculate! There were no breaks in the leather, no stitching left hanging and all the metal on the shoes gleamed with perfection. The shoemaker couldn't believe his luck. 'The elves must have done me this kindness', he thought. Wanting to see if his good fortune would continue, he worked again all day. And when he could no longer keep his eyes open, he left out his materials half-finished went to bed, atwitter with anticipation of the following dawn.
The next day, the same amazing spectacle greeted the shoemaker. 'The elves must have taken a shine upon me', he thought to himself, and went about his daily work with renewed joy and energy. This routine continued for years one end. With the help of the elves, the shoemaker was able to make ends meet and more even than that! His wife and he were able to live more and more comfortably and even went on to have a house and a child of their own.
One night, his wife could not hold back her curiosity and asked of the shoemaker: 'How is it that you have managed to turn this boat around, homes? We live in such luxury now as we could not before have fathomed. Our son is healthy and well-fed and our house could be on an episode of cribs, fo'sho'! The shoemaker's wife was a very progressive woman. And when the shoemaker told her of the elves and their invaluable help, his wife decided to knit them a pair of little off-the-hook outfits to thank and honor them and so the elves could look fly. She had the yarn 'cause she was making booties for her fat baby, you see..."
When our professor, Hal Ackerman, read this -abridged and heavily paraphrased- fairy tale the Brothers Grimm had written, he was struck with how much he felt like the shoemaker. To see how close the resemblance ran, he worked on his then script all day. And when he couldn't stay up any longer, no matter how much caffeine he imbibed, he left out his pages half-finished and went to bed with a jittery heart, trusting in the elves to help him along his writing way.
The next day, Hal sat at his desk and opened the cover (it was one of those desks that closes, so you can safely leave half-finished stuff in it for elves to take over, and no one is the wiser) and sure enough... the pages were exactly as he had left them the night before.
"We are the elves. Anything that you don't write, will not get written. Is that plain enough?"
Το απόσπασμα αυτό από τη σημερινή μας, πρώτη, διάλεξη είναι χαρακτηριστικό της όλης φάσης. Ο τύπος είναι ημίθεος. Ακόμα κι όταν μας έλεγε να αγοράσουμε το βιβλίο του (που ο μαλάκας πήγα και το πήρα 25 δολλάριο από βιβλιοπωλείο. Να! Ζώον) δε φαινόταν παρτάλι παρά ότι ήθελε να μας βοηθήσει και να μας διευκολύνει με όποιον τρόπο δυνατόν. Συνεχίζω να τρέμω από ενθουσιασμό μέσα στην αίθουσα. Να δούμε πόσο θα κρατήσει αυτό και πότε θ' αρχίσει ο τρόμος για τον όγκο του φόρτου εγασίας μας...
Apart from introducing us to the course in his own special way, Hal gave as an on the spot assignment in the last minutes of class. Write a Cringe List: a series of events and actions you have taken which make you turn scarlet to this day. Volunteers were called upon and some people read their lists to the full auditorium. Those daring enough, spoke to the room's general amusement, guffaws and a couple of awkward silences. I chickened out.
Έχω μεγάλο πρόβλημα με το να μιλήσω μπροστά σε κοινό. Ναι, ναι, ναι, το ξέρω "δε βάζω γλώσσα μέσα", θα μου πείτε. Αλλά αυτό είναι διαφορετικό. Όταν έχω να αντιμετωπίσω ανθρώπους που ξέρω ή μια ομάδα φορμιντάμπλ -8, άντε 10 άτομα- το 'χω. Κάποιοι θέλουν να κυριαρχήσουν και να γίνουν ο αρχηγός της αγέλης. Εγώ είμαι ο λύκος που θέλει να κάνει τους συναγελήτες του ύαινες απ' τα γέλια. Κουτοπόνηρος και χαιρέκακος. Τον αναγνωρίζετε από την επιμελώς ατημέλητη γούνα, μάτι που γυαλίζει και τα σάλια που τρέχουν. Δουλεύει η μεταφορά; Ή είναι παρομοίωση;
Ένηουεη, το πόιν'τ είναι ότι αυτοί που διάβαζαν ήταν κάπως... περήφανοι, γι' αυτά που έλεγαν; Κι έγώ ήμουν σε στυλ "Εεεεε, το νόημα του όλου έξερσαηζ δεν είναι να ντρέπεσαι γι' αυτά που έχεις γράψει;" Δηλαδή, οκέυ, δε λέω "Έθαψα το χάμστερ μου ζωντανό" και "Κλώτσησα ένα πεκινουά στα 10 μέτρα, γιατί πήγε να επιτεθεί στον ανιψιό μου" κάτι λένε. Αλλά "Φίλησα μια κοπέλα μπροστά στον άντρα μου"; "Οδήγησα μαστουρωμένος". Ρηλυ;! Από την άλλη, αυτοί είχαν και το θάρρος να τα μοιραστούν ενώ εγώ όχι.
That being said, I present to the 8 to 10 of you, my very own Cringe List:
Things I Have Done That Still Make Me Cringe
by Giorgis Despotakis
(that's the spelling on the birth certificate, thus also at UCLA)
- That first script.
- Broke my brother's nose.
- Persistently loved someone who didn't love me back.
- Pretended my hair went blond from the sun.
- Stole my dad's condoms.
- Stole porn from kiosks.
- Threw away porn in apartment building's boiler room.
- Chanted for my girlfriend to kiss another girl (Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! KISS!).
- Cheated on said girlfriend.
- Read 1st few lines of e-mail meant for someone else.
- Gossiped so people would like me.
- Took a stupid stand against a teacher.
- Got people drunk so they would play strip poker.
- Lied badly.
- Pretended to be straight.
- Solved math problems in front of entire class while having ass-crack sweat.
Seeing it typed on the screen it... doesn't seem that big a deal. Maybe I shouldn't judge my classmates for what, I only, perceive to be pride in their recounting of their own cringe-worthy accomplishments. I should trust that, for each one, their List stirs in them equivalent emotions to the sea-sick and eye-rolly ones I get when overthinking mine.
Fine. I won't "trust". But I'm open to the notion.
Fine. I won't "trust". But I'm open to the notion.
*Edited: 'cause I misspelled my surname. No, really.
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