Beardblog #17

Hey, Beardram Cooper! Ask me how drunk I was last night.

How drunk were you?

I was so drunk I took the red pill.

I was so drunk I went to see the Wizard.

I was so drunk I found Barry Manilow attractive.

I was so drunk I locked my landlady outside and sprayed her with a hose.

I was so drunk I went to The Fabulous Show (in my mind)

I was so drunk I watched the Wicker Man (Cage version).

I was so drunk I listened to Ke$sha ($he wa$ $till $hit).

I was so drunk I overused parentheses.

I was so drunk I applied to be Robin Williams' back-waxer.

I was so drunk I travelled back in time to when that joke was relevant.

I was so drunk I went to a sports bar.

I was so drunk I dressed up as a tampon and sang Bad Romance.

I was so drunk I bought a robot that turns into a truck.

I was so drunk I bought Shia LeBoeuf to be the robot's friend.

I was so drunk I fell for a stalker with very shiny skin.

I was so drunk I campaigned for Palin 2012.

I was so drunk I tried to put make two cats have sex by touching their tails together.

I was so drunk I burnt my throat scarfin' down Korean BBQ at 2 in the morning.

I was so drunk I sided with Leno.

I was so drunk I let this girl nick my broken glasses, right off my face.



I wasn't drunk enough to punch her.

Songs Stuck:
The Killers - Sweet Talk
Sia - Drink to Get Drunk
Lady Gaga - Bad Romance


Come on. Did you really think we'd get through this post without it?

Beard Status:
Crunk.