Problem's Beardly Cooper continues to be highly opinionated.
It wants cut and dry stuff that won't slather all over it. Like lettuce leaves or plain well-done stake or some shit. But I'm a saucy guy! I wanna shove my face in a footlong meatball sub with fresh marinara, or slurp down a loaded baked potato soup. Mmmm! Souououp.
The thing is, usually, I... forget to eat? Being on my own, I feel it a waste to cook just for myself. Then again, going to eat out on one's own is rather more depressing. So, I end up not eating. See? It is imperative that I make some friends just so I have an incentive to eat!
Wait. What happened? Oh, right. Yeah so, The Beard and I were having a fight (it prefers "disagreement") about what I should have for dinner. Luckily I'd been to Ralphs earlier today and convinced Beardnon Walsh that I should eat something at home.
Enter a lovely chunky organic tomato soup with some retarded Gorgonzola in it. And Hairy McLairy's all like "I told you, you bastard - no good can come of soup! Now wipe me before I end up stinking like mouldy French farts for the rest of the night ".
Incidentally, The Beard tends to get racist when angry.
Luckily, we did come to an agreement in making up for the Great Soup Disappointment of 2010 by scarfin' down a whole mess 'o' mini-muffins. Blueberry, chocolate and banana-nut crumbles are probably still hiding in the bristles on my chin. But Beard and I don't care.
Pastries. Is there anything they can not make better? Elvis Beardsley approves.
Songs Stuck:
Soko - I'll Kill Her
Owl City - Fireflies
Reefer Madness - The Brownie Song
Beard Status:
Strong-willed, argumentative, smelling of cheese.
It wants cut and dry stuff that won't slather all over it. Like lettuce leaves or plain well-done stake or some shit. But I'm a saucy guy! I wanna shove my face in a footlong meatball sub with fresh marinara, or slurp down a loaded baked potato soup. Mmmm! Souououp.
The thing is, usually, I... forget to eat? Being on my own, I feel it a waste to cook just for myself. Then again, going to eat out on one's own is rather more depressing. So, I end up not eating. See? It is imperative that I make some friends just so I have an incentive to eat!
Wait. What happened? Oh, right. Yeah so, The Beard and I were having a fight (it prefers "disagreement") about what I should have for dinner. Luckily I'd been to Ralphs earlier today and convinced Beardnon Walsh that I should eat something at home.
Enter a lovely chunky organic tomato soup with some retarded Gorgonzola in it. And Hairy McLairy's all like "I told you, you bastard - no good can come of soup! Now wipe me before I end up stinking like mouldy French farts for the rest of the night ".
Incidentally, The Beard tends to get racist when angry.
Luckily, we did come to an agreement in making up for the Great Soup Disappointment of 2010 by scarfin' down a whole mess 'o' mini-muffins. Blueberry, chocolate and banana-nut crumbles are probably still hiding in the bristles on my chin. But Beard and I don't care.
Pastries. Is there anything they can not make better? Elvis Beardsley approves.
Songs Stuck:
Soko - I'll Kill Her
Owl City - Fireflies
Reefer Madness - The Brownie Song
Beard Status:
Strong-willed, argumentative, smelling of cheese.
vitaminwater? again? disgusting like medicine yuk hahahahah :P ma ka8e mera omws... eleos :P:P:P
ReplyDeleteI LOVE IT! (Don't judge me).
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ReplyDeletekinda one month late with the comment... love this post, reminds me of good old days when i used to live on my own, friendless and found no point in eating alone (or I used to grab a bite during a radio show in front of the lap top screen)... i think it evolved from eating only when bf is around and then as bf left, well to your thing here, as really there was no one around to remind me :) my regards to the beard :)
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